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Dear Andy:
I'm 15 and I thought my dad and I had a good relationship but lately everytime he talks to me he calls me names and tells me I better shape up or ship out.
When I ask him what he means, he just say -- do it - or else! Can't talk to the dude, don't understand him. What should I do?
Signed
Lost
Dear Lost:
How about going to your dad when he's not uptight and in a good mood and telling him you'd like to talk to him. Ask him if the two of you can go out for a soda or something to eat ... just the two of you,
Explain to him that you love him and
you want to have a good relationship with him but you don't understand what he means when he says these things and feel very hurt when he calls you names.
Be honest and listen. If you still don't understand then try to talk to your mom, an older sibling, relative or family friend who knows your dad.
You can also ask for a family meeting and talk about how much you love your family and want that good relationship ... but feel you're disappointing them in some way but don't know how. That way, you're not singling out your dad and he won't be on the offensive.
Good luck!
Andy
February 8, 2006
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