Good
self-esteem is essential to a child's development. It
is the foundation of everything they do, everything they
are - it is the foundation of their future!
Listen, accept, discipline, and set limits for good self-esteem.
Allow independent decisions for a positive child with
positive self-esteem. Kids need acceptance in order to
develop positive esteem.
Self-esteem
is built by realistic praise. Kids know when praise isn't
realistic. Helping your child grow up with strong self-esteem
is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.
You’re the primary influence on how your child feels
about his/herself and their self-esteem. Who they are
is a mirror of you!
It's
imperative that your child feels valuable and has strong
self-esteem. Kids with high self-esteem have an easier
time throughout life. By providing a positive reflection
doesn't mean you allow your child to run the family -
it means that you that build positive self-esteem.
Build
Good Self-Esteem By Accepting Your Child
Accepting
your child - their good and their bad, allows your child
to accept Him/herself. This is the foundation of self-esteem.
Accept
your child without trying to change things about your
child to your "terms." Make your child feel
valuable and build self-esteem.
Validate
your child's experience so that he/she feels seen and
understood as a worthy person even when behavior is being
corrected.
Use
the words "decide" and "choice"
often. Stress the consequences of choices. Discuss
the behavior, not the child. Criticism lowers self-esteem
while having choices and control raises self-esteem. Always
stress to your children that life is a series of choices.
No one is responsible for their choices, decisions, and
actions but your child.
A
child's feelings of self-worth are connected to social
and academic success. But, not all parents know this.
Some parents don’t know how easy it is to damage
their child's self-esteem without even realizing it.
Help
Your Child Feel Special And Appreciated
An
important contributing factor to a child developing self-esteem
is an adult who helps the child feel special and appreciated;
not ignoring a child's problems - focusing on a child's
strengths.
It's
important for parents to set aside "special alone
times" each week with each of their children. It's
a good idea to tell your child "When I read to you,
talk to you, or play with you, I won't even answer the
phone if it rings." During these special times, focus
on things that your child enjoys doing, giving them the
chance to relax and display their strengths.
Help
Your Child To Develop Problem-Solving And Decision-Making
Skills
High
self-esteem brings solid problem-solving skills. Help
your child reflect upon possible solutions. Try role-playing
situations with your child to help demonstrate the steps
involved in problem solving.
Avoid Judgmental Comments
- Be Positive
By
saying to your child -"Try harder and give it more
of effort." you sound accusatory.
Many kids try hard and still have difficulty. By saying
"We have to figure out better approaches to help
you learn" your child will be less defensive. This
also reinforces problem-solving skills.
Some
well-meaning parents, out of their own frustration, will
say "Why don't you listen to me?" or "Why
don't you use your brain?" If your child is having
difficulty with learning, being empathetic and telling
your child that you know they're having difficulty includes
your child in thinking about possible solutions.
This
lessens power struggles. Ask your child if they would
like to be reminded five or ten minutes before bedtime
to get ready for bed. These choices help to set the foundation
for a feeling of control over one's life.
Siblings
Should Never Be Compared
It's
imperative not to compare siblings. Reinforce the strengths
of all your children.
Highlight
Your Child's Strengths
Most
kids see themselves negatively - especially at school.
List your child's areas of strength. Select a strength
- reinforce and display it.
Provide
Opportunities For Kids To Help
Kids
love to help others. By offering them opportunities to
help makes them feel like they have something to offer
the world. Involving your child in charitable work a great
way to make them feel good about themselves and others.
It will raise their self-esteem.
Set
Realistic Expectations And Goals For Your Child
Realistic
expectations give your child with a sense of control.
If
Your Child Has A Learning Disability, Help Them To Understand
The Nature Of Their Problem
Many
kids have fantasies and misconceptions about their learning
problems which add to their distress. Having realistic
information can give your child a greater sense of control
and a feeling that things can be done to help the situation.
Build
Self-Esteem With Discipline And Limit Setting
Kids
who are not disciplined can not grow up with high self-esteem.
They can feel more dependent -- feeling that they have
less control over their world.
Physical
and emotional protection of rules and limits to grow
self-esteem are essential for kids. When you give your
child acceptance and he/she can see you value, and appreciate
him/her.
Proper
discipline adds self-esteem. Helping your child set self-limits
builds self-esteem. Discipline and limits grow self-esteem.
Self-esteem grows best with consistency.
When
a child faces something new and succeeds, their self-esteem
grows. If, most of the time, they hear, "yes"
or "try it," their self-esteem grows.
Build
Self-Esteem With Praise - Not Overpraising
Praising gives kids the message that you accept and
appreciate them. They learn to praise themselves and
recognize and value their own efforts and talents. However,
overpraise creates pressure to be the "smartest,
best, most wonderful kid ever," a set-up for eventual
failure.
Build
Self-Esteem For Overweight Children
Always
be proud of your child for who they are. Be their champion
him in every area! Overweight kids are like any other
kids. Don’t force dieting - over 98% of diet methods
fail.
If
you have an "overweight" child, it is essential
to introduce healthy eating - not dieting. Some parents
resort to name calling as a an inducement to losing weight.
This is not the answer. Work with your child on proper
food choices and portions.
Your
child needs your support
in every area of their life. Reinforce and strengthen
all of the good things they do with praise and confidence!
More
than likely your child is being teased or bullied at school.
Their physical and mental health are of prime importance.
If they are being bullied because he they are overweight,
get together with school staff, other parents, support
groups and make some changes.
Encourage
you child to be more active. Not in competitive team sports
- this will only make him feel worse - but by walking
with you, shooting baskets with you, rolling down hills,
swimming, dancing, etc. This will allow your child to
achieve on their own level, with dignity and pride.
More
than anything, be proud of your child for who he is, champion
him in every area - overweight kids are just as normal
as anyone else.
There
are many ways you can help build your kids’ self-esteem.
The first and most important way is by demonstrating your
love for them on a constant basis. The more kids feel
loved, the better their self-esteem will be.
Here are a few tips you can try to enhance
good self-esteem:
Compliment Notes
Give your child sticky notes with the following
sentences are written:
Amy, you are good at . . . .
Bobby, I like the way you . . . .
Tommy, you are special because . . . .
How
I Feel About Myself
Help your child realize that it’s
normal to like and dislike various things about themselves.
Point out that just because they don't like something
about themselves, that it doesn't make them less wonderful
or less likable.
Self-Love
Sheet
At a daily sharing time have kids list
things about themselves they like. They should share this
with a sibling or entire family.
Behaviors
That Build Self-Esteem
The following are behaviors that help to
build strong self-esteem:
SMILES
HUGS
EYE CONTACT
TOUCHING
PRAISE
ACCEPTANCE
WARMTH
LISTENING
QUALITY TIME
ENCOURAGING
BEING SUPPORTIVE
COMMUNICATING
NO PUT-DOWNS
COOPERATING
NON-JUDGMENTAL ATTITUDES
GIVING RESPONSIBILITY
RESPECTING OTHERS
