Children Need Models Rather Than Critics
- Joseph Joubert
Parents learn to victimize children early. They learned this by acting upon their own experiences when they were children. What is learned behavior can be unlearned and the cycle can be broken.
We can break the cycle through early education and intervention. We know that the first three years of your child's life are crucial. Those are the years that your child will develop significant intellectual, emotional and social abilities. That's when they learn to give and accept love. They learn confidence, security, and empathy … they learn to be curious and persistent … everything your child needs to learn to relate well to others, and lead a happy and productive life. The first three years are the doorway to forever!
Children experience developmental advantages and disadvantages. The more developmental advantages they have, the more likely they will take positive paths. These advantages include: loving family relationships, meaningful opportunities, positive values - everything children need to succeed. By having nurturing family support, and a caring school environment, children develop good self-esteem. If a child lives in an abusive environment without love and support, and a tense school climate where bullying is a daily routine, that child will be at great risk.
In order to have more realistic expectations of children, educate yourself about child development. Understand that child development goes in stages. A child needs time to earn new behaviors and practice them consistently.
Recognize the feelings that your child is expressing through her words and actions. Be calm when your child is upset. Treat your child as you would your best friend, with respect, nurturing and love.
Replace physical punishment with more effective behavior strategies. Abusive physical punishment harms a child's healthy development and destroys the parent-child relationship. Discipline with dignity, on the other hand, teaches your child to respect authority and to develop self-control.
By strengthening adult relationships and seeking counseling to change your patterns of intimacy with other adults, you will achieve greater satisfaction in your personal life and improved relationships with your kids.
Encourage your child's attempts at independence. Listen to her opinions and take her feelings into account when making decisions. Give your child opportunities to make choices throughout childhood. In doing so, you help her develop a sense of self and the basis for a healthy personality.
Help break the cycle of children being victimized and neglected. Protect children by listening to them and being aware of the risk factors.
A child's voice is small, ignored and unheard. Raise the volume so that everyone hears their message … They only have one childhood - let's give them beautiful dreams instead of shattering them!
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